I can feel some small changes and it makes me smile

Finished my morning relaxation again. I really look forward to these moments as it allows me to do nothing and just concentrate on my feelings and emotions. One is not really allowed to even think. Well, thoughts are always not that easy to control but when in relaxation thoughts come and go, they just visit me and then they go. It's ok to have them but it's not ok to let them have control. And that is how it has been with me.

I've been doing relaxation/hypnosis for some weeks now  and I can feel the difference. I feel the carousel slowing down. I do feel a little bit dizzy sometimes after all that merry-go-round but I can start to see direction. I read on Facebook page to my Silva contact that Robert Dilts (famous within NLP method) once said to her "Set a direction, you do not need to know the destination, just set a direction". How perfect! I've been worrying about my goalless situation but all I need is a direction. And I have a direction...ish. I can let go and let things fall into their places.

One physical effect of relaxation is the higher level of oxytocin in the body. And for me who has been living with a high level of cortisol (stress hormone) probably many years (on/off) feels this oxytocin like a drug. You can google and find a lot of scientific fact about oxytocin - I found many, but here is one example.

http://oxytocincentral.com/

I am a little bit sceptical about this page as they promote "buying oxytocin" where as I think most of these hormones (I can talk about tryptophan some other time) should be taken in a natural way. But there is some useful information in easily digestible way on that page.

But all this. I do think my life is about to change or maybe better way to put it, I am about to change. Good example is two days that just passed by. I got two surprise invitations  - one to a celebration of the national day of Norway and one to see Eurovision Song Contest. And most important of all, I said yes to both invitations and had a good time. In addition I made a 2o km hike in the forest yesterday. I was supposed to go to a cabin tour with someone I know but he cancelled in the last minute. I got irritated, got over that irritation and went for a small hike just by myself. Good girl.

Here are two relaxing photos from my tour in the forest.

I'm starting this blog mainly to clear up the mess in my head. I have so many plans...too many plans and no intention to fulfill them all. There is a carousel in my head with all kind of different plans - A and B sure, I think I am in letter T now.

Some say that's a good thing but I don't think so. How about concentrating on some things and making some dreams come true. Making decisions is sometimes so hard that it's just easier to continue the normal old way of being restless and goalless. Sometimes I make promises to myself just to find out that I never intended to keep them. Right now I have two bigger plans a) to finish my BA and b) to travel to Vietnam for a month next winter. Problem is these two don't co-operate at all and I'll probably just choose Vietnam because it sounds like fun :). Easy way out.

My smaller goals then - eat healthier and loose weight, learn good swimming technique - sounds good but the problem is that these have been my goals "for ever". Where is the action? It's all about decisions - next Monday, tomorrow, from the beginning of next month. Where's NOW? I am a queen of postponing things.

So, this time I have decided! And to make myself to stay with this decision I am starting this blog.